Another day, Another dollar

It is another day, and it's calmer around here. After I wrote yesterday's post, I got down-and-dirty practical. No use sitting around with the 'whatifs' spinning and multiplying in my brain. A few phone calls later, I found out what I'd lose if I quit my job. This close to retirement, it's a big number of dollars.

Well, it's not really that big, but it's much bigger than anything else I could make in the next few years, and I could double that number by switching back to full-time work. Now that would be hard. Work, sleep, work, sleep, do NOT get involved in office politics, let the bad days go, wave hello to the kids in passing. Nickname would be in charge of the household. Not much different to now, he says. (I hate housework.)

Time to suck it in. Keep my eye on the big number. I can always blog and play computer games after I retire.

So that was that. Funny how it was such a weight off my mind - making a decision. A sunny mood burst out from the storm that had been raging since Saturday.

As part of the decision making, I went trawling online for jobs - researching what type of jobs I could possibly get, and what pay rates were out there for comparison purposes. (It wasn't pretty).

I was searching by location, looking for work close to home, because I also hate my current 45 minute commute. I was hating everything about my job, as you do while hiding in a black storm cloud.  Apprentice caught my eye. Electronic. Suburb (close to home).

Now Dreamer has applied for another job.
That's not quite correct, is it? I did the online deed, and then I told him what he had done. Sneaky mummy tactics.

Keep moving, keep moving, and serendipity happens.

New = Scary

Work is on my mind.

We managed to get some feedback on Dreamer's failed job application. It was the yawning gap in his resume- nothing between finishing school last November until now- that was mostly what failed him.

He needs to do something. Anything. Enrol in a course, find a part-time job, volunteer, whatever.

Me too. After a month's holiday, I don't know how many people look forward to going back to work, but I was dreading it. Then shit happened, and it became a return to hell. Management style has long been on a trend to where the job was almost untenable. I think it's just tipped over the edge.

I did spend a bit of time on holidays browsing the online job boards. Damn it if I didn't find something interesting, and believe it or not, it's with a company related to my current employer.

Now I don't know what to do. Carry on in my current job, trying not to let management niggles get to me, and take a punt on the likelihood of being made redundant? Or jump ship now?

I need to do something.

I keep yo-yo-ing Should I stay or should I go now? Pros, cons, pros, cons. The idea of going back to full time work is frightening, not least because it would mean I lose my 'own time', my house-to-myself, write a blog, no interruptions time.

Applications close Friday. I don't even have a resume, because I've been in the same job for 20 years. I can't even decide if I want the new job. It might be worse than the current one.

But... a resume would be a good thing to have done. And it's only an application - it doesn't mean I have to take the job (talk about getting ahead of myself, I haven't even applied yet!).

I'm feeling much more sympathetic towards Dreamer's avoidance and inaction today. I understand.

I need to just do something. I need to not worry about failure. I need to not double-triple-guess what the future holds. I need to not be frightened of the unknown.

It'll be good role-modelling for Dreamer.

Wanted: One Career

Dreamer applied for an apprenticeship, and was going through the process, so that was one less thing to think about. For a while, anyway.

Hey, mate, have you checked your email lately?
No, not lately.
Can you go do it?
OK.

And damn. There it was - "Thank you for your application. However..."

Dreamer's future is back on the worry-list. We need to get the blob out of the house, at least occasionally.

Find him a McJob? Something simple, non-stressful, and very part-time, so he can get back into a bit of a
daily routine. Restocking shelves at the supermarket? He could just do a few hours each week, not lose his pension, dip his toes into the world of employment.

On the other hand, could he start off immediately towards some form of trade/skills base that could lead to a long-term future? The problem with this hand is... finding a direction and a starting point.

Wanted: One career.

Must not involve people, or sunlight, or heat, or grubbiness. Oh, and must not require speed (of movement or thought). Preferably should not require much abstract problem-solving or planning.
May include science, computers, shiny things, books, words.
Precision (aka obsession) guaranteed.

Bwahahahaha. I have to be joking, right? But I have to try.

I've though of  locksmith, jeweller, lab technician, photographer.

Lab technician may require a bit much efficiency (read: speed) but it's the only science-related thing I can think of! Locksmith and Jeweller apprenticeships aren't exactly thick on the ground, and Photographer would require him to be more of a self-starter than he currently is.

Then there's the issue of whether or not to get the disability employment services involved, or try to keep control of the process. Would long term plans be hijacked in the name of employment at any cost?

I just keep thinking around in circles. Any brilliant (or ludicrous) ideas out there?

Anyone want an apprentice/assistant/work experience person?

What difference does a year make?

I could be doing my tax. I could be looking for a new job. I could ask you to note that I'm using the word 'could' and not 'should'. I could be planning world domination.

In the true spirit of procrastination, I fire up blogger. Wow, has it really been more than a year?

The different brainspace has been ... in other brainspaces.

I have an adult son now. Sort of. The dreamer reached a chronological milestone, and had a bunch of friends meet up with him at a bar to celebrate his 18th birthday. OK, it was a gaming bar, which isn't such a bad thing. Gamers don't tend towards punch-ups and glassing, or anything physical, really. And he didn't even have a hangover the next day.

For the purposes of posterity, I should take this opportunity to reflect on how his different brainspace intersects with the larger world view. Ahem.

Let's run through the NT checklist:
Enrolled to vote - check.
Income - check.
Job - has applied for an apprenticeship, and made it through three sets of interviews and aptitude tests. Awaiting the yea/nay letter due in November.
Social life - check.
Relationship - check.

Sounds great? And it is.

Oops. I must have my Parental Bragging Hat on. That's the one I wear when acquaintances and distant relatives ask me "How are things going?", just before they start telling me about Their Dear Johnny, who has just graduated with honours in and become engaged to and is already an executive at and he's only sixteen.
Alrighty then.

Reality Hat on, and let's try that again with some other popular markers of adulthood:

Driving licence - 4 attempts so far on the written test.
It's multiple choice ffs. He tells me he 'overthinks' the questions, and that it couldn't possibly be that easy. It's possible that he's terrified of the next step - actually being in control of a tonne of fast-moving metal. He just doesn't think that fast. I'm more than slightly nervous about that part too, so I'm not pushing the licence test too hard.

Education - I can say he 'finished school', but usually omit the part about how he failed to complete any assessment in any subject, so doesn't actually have an official piece of paper.

The income -  It's a disability pension. It gives him a bit of spending money. Which he does. Spend, I mean. Usually the day he's paid. Can you say 'impulse spending'? On the bright side, his impulses tend toward good books.

I'm terrified about the job application. It was for an apprenticeship with a large company. I'm sure that he did well in the aptitude tests - considering that they were basic numeracy and literacy tests. I can even stretch to imagining that he was as capable as most incoherent teenagers in the interviews. Where I see impending doom, if he was offered the job, would be his capability to be 'present' for 8 hours at a stretch, 5 days each week. He wouldn't have enough time left each day to shower and eat! I have no idea whether it's the medication, or the drifting away on the computer at nights and needing sleep during the day, I just know that it's impossible to keep him upright. Turn away for 5 minutes and he's asleep again. He still doesn't have either the self-discipline, or the short-term memory, to remember to eat breakfast.

Aside from that, he has a wonderful life.

The girlfriend (I think I'll call her 'Red') decides on their social life, walks in the front door, nags him into getting out of bed and getting dressed in time. If she doesn't come and get him, he doesn't leave the house (or often, the bed). He still takes 2 hours to have a shower and get dressed. Minimum. She knows that if a social event begins at 2pm, she'll have to be here at 10am and spend the next 4 hours nagging and threatening.
Luckily, Red is a 'type A personality'. She bullies, nags, decides, tells him what to do, threatens a bit more, and it works. It takes hours, but they go out and have a good time.

Maybe I'm a bit over the nagging after 18 years,  but she's stuck around for 8 months now and seems to be enjoying it.

I think I may have to hand over my Carer's Allowance.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll move on to the more immediate crisis of three Year 11 assignments due Monday. Yesterday, they were 'easy' and 'almost done'. Now, they are 'impossible' and he 'may as well quit school now'.