Public Face/Private Face

I think I was about fourteen when I realised that my friends didn't think the way that I did.

It probably happened when a group of friends were gushing about their latest band crushes, and I just sat there, listening, and thinking "How absolutely inane, I really don't care who's the cutest boy in the Bay City Rollers. I'd rather be in the library with a good book".

I also knew then, with absolute clarity, that if I actually said what I was thinking, I'd be friendless during the lunch hours for the rest of my school days. At the time, that was a big thing. I did not want to be friendless in high school.

And so I discovered observation and acting.

Oh, I gushed, and bought Sherbet records, and fan magazines, and had long conversations over vegemite sandwiches about what I'd say when I met the popstar of my dreams!

"Oh Eric, he's so cute!"
"Shut up, Eric's mine"
"Oh sorry, I forgot. Umm, Who do I get then?"

Then I had to go home afterwards and have a good lie down, listen to some Doobie Brothers, do maths homework, and read Lord of the Rings.

It was hard work, having school friends.


I watched the ABC Doco  on Compass from last night, and it was Akash (the musical one) that reminded me of all this.

Lately, I've been aware that gradually, imperceptibly, over many years, I've been using the public faces less and less. I just don't want to any more. I still have to keep it up at work, of course, but I forgo the gossip and water-cooler talk.

I don't want to go to parties, or social events, or even for coffee, unless I can wear my private face. It's too much like hard work.

Hey, am I turning into a grumpy old woman? or releasing my inner Aspie?

The Phone...

Dreamer, at the grand old age of 16 years and 11 months, bought himself a mobile phone yesterday.

So what? Most kids have their own mobile at two these days, don't they?

I'm excited because he asked for a phone.

I mean, a phone is a social status symbol. A way to waste time and money chatting to and messaging friends.
Um.. did I just use the words 'chatting', 'friends' and 'social' in connection with the name of my Aspie son?

I never thought I'd see the day.

He has begun to develop a social life. His very own social life.

Fellow students contact him on MSN, and invite him to a semi-regular study group at the library. Fellow physics nuts, admittedly, and I have my suspicions that not very much studying goes on, and there's a fair bit of going to the mall and buying Maccas and Mother, but to me that's even better.

He attends conventions - Supernova and GenCon - with fellow anime, manga and gaming geeks.

He even appears (ssshhhh!) to have a girlfriend. Well, a girl who phones him and asks would he like to go comic book shopping with her and her Mum. OK, the next step is to work on having him phone her, but it's all good so far.

And so he decided that a mobile phone might be useful.

Since when did a phone overtake a new DS game on his spending priority list?

He's spent the last 24 hours getting it all set up. Yes, it takes that long, and I don't think he's even added any phone numbers yet. There's the time, calendar, ring tones, message tones, wallpaper, copy MP3's from the computer, tune the radio stations, connect the wi-fi to the home network, alarm clock, and OMG I want a new phone too. (sorry, techno-junkie here got carried away)

I'm sure I'll have to provide more than frequent reminders over the next weeks to actually ask people for their numbers, and give them his. That's just small bikkies.

I can't get the grin off my face.